Happy Birthday

I had a birthday last week... I feel really old.  Between Matt being super busy (homework) and super exhausted (3:30am alarm) we really didn't do much on Tuesday.  He did bring me some really pretty flowers though.

He also brought home a Dairy Queen cake (my favorite!!!).  I didn't get a picture of the whole thing, and as you can see we didn't waste much time eating it.

On Friday we went out for a nice dinner at Olive Garden.  I told Matt it would have been nice if he looked like he was enjoying taking me out for my birthday, but at least I'm bringing the camera places with me and taking pictures.  This is something I rarely did in the past.

We had already decided that we wouldn't be getting birthday presents for each other this year and that the new camera was our gift.  The flowers, cake and dinner was just perfect!

My sister Abby gets the award for the best birthday card this year.  Congrats, Abber!  For your prize I will take you to dinner at BWW on Tuesday when you come to visit me ;-) hehe!!

(and yes that's what I'm leaving you with :-) )

E

Questions

Matt and I had been eagerly anticipating the next several months and the birth our first child. We had just started spreading our exciting news to friends and family when I started having some problems. A quick trip to the doctor confirmed our worst fears. The baby's heart was no longer beating and a few days later I miscarried.

While I would love to have a happy post with pictures about our everyday life, I just can't do it right now.  Today my heart is torn and my mind is reeling with all sorts of thoughts and questions.  I know that most of these questions don't really have answers but they are still there.  I also know that God is still holding me tight and there will be more happy picture posts later, but this is what's going on now.

how do you say goodbye to someone you've never met yet already holds a piece of your heart because you love them so much? how do you talk or even think about someone when you've only referred to them as "it" because you don't know whether to say "he" or "she"? can you really be a mother when you've never even seen your baby, much less held or fed them? and what kind of mother are you when your only baby's body, although very tiny but still precious, was flushed down a toilet? what now and where do i go from here?

E

Apache Course!!

So Matt has been on hold for a couple months now.  Those days consisted of going to PT (physical training) at 0600, coming home for a couple hours, going to work from about 0900 to 1230, and then he had the rest of the day off.  He spent some of the extra time studying for the Apache course, but oftentimes I'd get off work and come down stairs and find him napping on the couch.  It's a good thing he got to sleep while on hold because now that he's started class there won't be much of that.  That's right... he's in class!!!  He started at 0400 (yes that's 4am) yesterday and has a few more of those early mornings to come, but he's back in class which makes me very happy!

This picture was not taken at 4am because there was no way I was getting up to do that, but I did get this one on day 1 when he didn't have to start until around 1100.  This class will last about 6 months and then he'll be finished!

E

New Toy!

We've been playing with our new toy for a few days couple weeks now.  It's keeping me both entertained and confused at the same time.  Things that I have said while testing...
"Smile bigger! It doesn't think you're smiling."
"Move your arm around and see if it will follow."
"It can even get the hairs on my legs!" 

So it only took me a couple weeks to figure out how to get the pictures onto the computer.  I haven't figured out all the features yet, but so far it works pretty good and should mean the blog will see recent photographs.

E